Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
