today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
