lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
