i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
