dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
