Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
