I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
