i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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