I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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