Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
As shirtless as possible
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
whose ass print is on the piano?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Use "feeling words"
Yay
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
