My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
