I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
