Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
