Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
