At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
