Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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