He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
