You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
