New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize