she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
