I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
