Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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