Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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