I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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