Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We are all done wearing pants today
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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