The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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