Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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