I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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