Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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