Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
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