He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
