My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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