I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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