she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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