you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
