So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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