Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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