3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
