You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
