I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
