Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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