I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
