You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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