Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
