Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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