i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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