I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i think i have herpe
just one?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize