I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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