Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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