East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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