Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
