i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
