Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
