these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Girls should come with a carfax report
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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