I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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