just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize