Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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