Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
