My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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