corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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