you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We are all done wearing pants today
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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